During the years I hunted, I did get "in touch" with nature like not before or since. Now, I am largely a vegan.
Strange, now that you mention it, I can see that my nature photography has not brought me to the "depth" or intimacy of being in touch with nature that the deer hunting did.
I liked "still" hunting deer. I dreaded the idea of killing a deer or anything else.
AN ASIDE:
And in the end, killing deer at night in the Everglades, in the name of science, caused deep, trauma that I have never recovered from. It is because we left the "newly unspotted" fawn motherless. I cannot talk about it now Paul. This is all I will say about it. The Commission called it "special collections". I hate them for having put me through it. If I was a millionaire I would waste some money suing them for the irreversible trauma they have caused me. Many other wildlife technicians and biologists went through it. Some enjoyed it. I can never understand how you can enjoy such a horror. Some people love to kill. I know. I have learned this through the years as a biologist working with the public. The Commission no longer conduct their damned "special collections". I think someone screamed about it. In fact, now that I have started to admit it and bring it out, I may just start writing publicly about this dreadful practice. The only consolation I have gotten through the years for having participated in this is that the young ones we left are long dead too; i.e. they do not have to suffer any longer the trauma of having their mother taken from them. I should have requested I be excluded from the assignment. It is so traumatic now that I find myself still asking for forgiveness from the animals for some of the things we did and that i participated in such a horrible, needless practice….. in the name of science.
BACK TO TRADITIONAL DEER HUNTING
But deer hunting in Maine was a very deep experience, only because I "still" hunted and sometimes took a stand. I was a loner when i deer hunted. There were exceptions. There were times when I hooked up with some schoolboy friend's deer hunting family and I found myself participating in "drive". I look back and find those drives of absolutely no fulfillment. They left me empty.
When I was a very little boy, my Grandfather bought a hand-built,
old log cabin in north-central Maine (Salem). There was no heavy equipment to put the logs in place in those days. Anyway, it was at the foot of Mount Abraham and I spent much of my youth there. I would climb that 4000+ foot mountain and be back for lunch with my Grandparents. It was the best time of my life, alone with them and off hunting all day long. I never killed a deer, but I can still smell those wood in the Fall. We also did a lot of partridge hunting. I did kill many partridge but today wish I did not do that either. We did not need to kill anything. We bought all our food from the market as we do today.
A LONE DEER HUNTER
But hunting does bring a person so much closer to nature. It is difficult to explain. In my twenties, the same time i was a young wildlife student, I began deciding that I would become a stealthy white-tail hunter. And it did! I got so I could walk right up on to a deer, although I did not even know it was there. I did it many, many times. They would jump up and "blow" and then bound off with that white rump bouncing through the woods. I had walked right up onto them. Literally, in the woods, you can walk right by a deer that is on the ground and within 6 feet of you and you will not see it. How did I do this "still" hunting? I just would pick an area that was "loaded" with fresh tracks and then began to slooooow…..waaaay, down, so that it would take me say, an hour or so to walk just 100 yards or maybe even less distance. In snow storms and in steady rain, I would hunt all day long. Those were the days of no Gore Tex. You wore cotton, waffled long johns next to the skin and all wool outer clothing. You got soaked early on but just kept walking. In fresh, shallow snow it was fun be hunting white-tails in the woods. I would pick up a track and eventually get frustrated and begin jogging with my little carbine by my side. And sure enough the deer would begin trotting to stay ahead of me. The evidence was right on the ground in front of me. I was a kid having fun. If I had actually seen the deer and shot it…the misery would have begun. I just hate killing things and do not mind saying it. Shot a bear once not far from from that old log cabin. The whole family (well all on my Father's side) was proud of me. I regret it to this day. I did eat it. Anyone who says that bear is good eating is nuts.
Used to teach hunter safety courses in Florida. That experience, combined with what I see today in Maine….and I do not go in the woodsanymore in the Fall knowing what I know now. I listen to deer hunters today and I see the ignorance….the same thing I had. And they do not listen to other's mistakes.
Gotta gitta deer!!!!
It is an ego thing. The just do not see it. They do not even see the horror and misery they put the animals through.
IRRESPONSIBLE HUNTERS LEAVE HORRIBLY WOUNDED ANIMALS IN THE WOODS
LISTEN!….there are lots and lots of mortally wounded deer, many with their appendages shot off….just because most of today's hunters cannot control their emotions. They will shoot at a deer or moose or anything else in season….that is way too far off. They talk about the miss and the deer running off wounded, with no regret for the animal. The deer dies that night because coyotes find it and take it apart. Wild canids are merciless killers, literally eating the big pray animal alive. Big cats kill by crushing off the trachea or snapping the spinal cord….it is quick. Not so with wild canids on big ungulates. Sorry, this is just the way it is.
I heard a moose hunting story just two days ago: The "hunter" took 8 shots….EIGHT….at a moose and missed evey time. Now folks, the only way that happens is if the animal is too far away to shoot because you risk maiming it or causing it to die a long, miserable death. The moose is not known for its intelligence. It stands there and looks at them while that big high powered rifle roars off in the distance….over and over. That is not fun. But these guys do it anyway…..and they do not regret it. They are desperate.
THE LOTTERY
Today's moose hunting and bear hunting are a desecration of the hunting tradition. The lottery is a desecration of the tradition. It has destroyed the tradition…corrupted it forever more. I hate it. I have lost ALL of any respect that remained for Maine Department of Inland Fisheries and Wildlife. Which reminds me….it is time for another Letter to the Editor of the paper.
And there is no way to interview for a hunting license. There are lots and lots of immature, irresponsible little boys in mens bodies…in the woods.
THE BOW HUNTER
Some do see the enjoyment of it. Mark Chase, a friend of mine, is about the best hunter I have known. He has many stories about the things he has seen in the woods while bow hunting. If you really want to commune with nature and do not mind killing, then you might take up bow hunting. I will close with the time Mark told me about the Great Horned Owl that came swooshing right by his face as he sat up in a tree with his bow. Wow! You don't make up those stories.